Hello dear readers! I’m sorry it’s been so long.
Man, I was just thinking today about how I haven’t written anything in forever. I was doing such a great job keeping up when I was in London with my other blog, but then I got home, and I got busy. I feel that shouldn’t be an excuse, but it is.
I have a love-hate relationship with being busy. I am the type of person who is constantly moving from thing to thing, and then I consequently complain about all the things I have do. However, the moment I have one minute of downtime, I start to freak out. I start wondering, “What is it that I should be doing? Why am I not doing anything? Did I forget to write something down?” One day I actually skimmed all of my emails and FaceBook events just because I didn’t believe that I had a free Saturday.
I wonder why I do this to myself. I am never just content for more than a few minutes. I can’t even just watch TV anymore. The entire time I’m thinking to myself, “I shouldn’t be doing this. There is other stuff to be done. It’s a beautiful day outside. I should call someone up to hang out. I haven’t seen so-and-so for a while, maybe I’ll call her. I at least should be doing homework while this is on. It isn’t due for another three days, but I can’t procrastinate.”
Seriously. Those are my thoughts.
I feel like this is just the culture that we’re in, at least for college students. There are always so many things to consider. There are jobs, internships, friends, class, future plans, and responsibilities to balance every single day. I don’t know how some people do it all.
Even now, I sit here and write because I have a free hour to myself. Not necessarily because I miss writing (which I really do) but more because I would feel guilty doing anything that was less productive.
I need to change the way I think about time. Now I’m not going to go all “smell the roses” on you, but I mean I need to stop considering my days as these limited amount of hours that can help me check off the boxes on my list. I need to be ok with downtime. I need to be ok with possibility missing out on something, if it means that I can spend more time taking care of myself and sleeping and relaxing.
This is definitely easier said than done, but I’m going to try, especially with winter break around the corner. It’s not fair to my friends and family and it’s not fair to me that I push myself so hard. There is nothing wrong with “me time.”
So, dear readers, if you have stuck with me all this time, I have a quote of the day for you.
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Bertrand Russell
Love your neighbor as yourself and never forget to have a great day!